Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Meanwhile, in a Pakistani McMansion...

...this happened. And immediately, in what some of its members pride as and loudly proclaim to be "a Christian nation," whooping and partying commenced. This despite Proverbs 24:17 instructing the faithful against such displays. This is to say nothing of Jesus' words in Matthew 5:43-48 commanding his followers to love their enemies. Really a central tenet of Jesus' teachings there... of his philosophy as Dubya would have it. I've had a longstanding fantasy of getting the chance to ask the former president one question in front of a televised national audience, quoting the abovementioned passage from the writings of his favorite philosopher, and asking whether he loved Osama bin Laden, with all his heart, as his accepted personal lord and savior commanded.

Aww, the Bible is such a buzzkill maaaan! We just want to rejoice in an act of vengeance. I'm sure Jesus would understand just this once. We can consider this one person not entirely human, beneath the worthiness of our compassion and deserving only of painful death. We can argue that he was a threat to us, to people around the world, and to our way of life. We can make all the justifications in the world, and never stop to wonder what justifications he made to be okay with his acts of terrorism, whether maybe they were all too similar. Never stop to think that maybe killing the killers does not make for less killing. Never stop to wonder whether there are bad people, or just people who do bad things with the best of intentions; because good people never do bad things, just look at the Millgram Experiment, or the Stanford Prison Experiment. Fighting fire with fire works, right? It doesn't just make for twice as much fire. Arguing by word or deed in favor of justifying murder in cases where it is expedient or even just especially satisfying couldn't possibly lead to more murder in the long run, now could it?

You can tell my level of indignation, at any point in time, by the shrillness of my sarcasm.

This is where I had planned to say more about the idea of America as a Christian nation, basically how it's so much easier to say than to live, and from there segue into some other stuff I find interesting... but I lost the link to the article that spurred my thinking in that direction, and this post has been growing stale while I fruitlessly searched for it. So I'll skip to the next bit and be done.

Meanwhile, in an Alternate Cognitive Dimension...

...this happened. Shortly after the news of Osama's demise, timed as it was so soon after the release of Obama's birth certificate, people began posting on Facebook demanding to see "the long-form death certificate." Once again, we see the impossibility of satire in the internet age, its inability no matter how hyperbolic to keep ahead of the sincere crazies.

So, Andrew Brietbart wants to see the body for himself, possibly lick it to verify its authenticity, as every free American has a right to do. Only in this way can we verify it legally, to see if he is morally, ethically, physically, spiritually, positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead.

Now, I will try to refrain from the obvious mental munchkin joke (oops, didn't try hard enough), but if we were able to prove to Brietbart that Bin Laden is not only neatly dead, but really quite completely dead... would he offer President Obama a lollipop?
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