Well, I'm going to my friends' place for dinner tonight, and it was my plan to bring a nice loaf of fresh bread because you never want to show up empty-handed (also, if you accept a dinner invitation you are obligated to be charming and entertaining, remember this and stock up on amusing anecdotes)

I get to my car... have I mentioned I've been meaning to go to the DMV?... I get to my car and find my new friend clipped to my windshield. Everybody, meet $100 ticket for having expired tags. Mr. Ticket, meet everyone! What's this you say Mr. Ticket? "Bob's a fucking moron"? Why, I'm inclined to agree you little scamp! What? What else was that? "Tow Requested"? Ahh-hahahaha! You so crazy!

So I go to the store and get many many groceries and a nice loaf of rosemary sourdough bread. I bring them all home, introduce my housemate to my new friend, then come in to check my email.

And in the half hour since then, foolish me for not affixing a "Do Not Eat" note to the loaf, my housemate went and devoured a big chunk out of it!

"You weren't invested in keeping the loaf whole, were you?"

Ah-hahahahaha!
- posted by Bob @ 3:58 PM